I’m purely writing this article to try and stumble upon a word I’m looking for to finish my story, Twit’s Do It Better.
Who am I kidding? I’m gonna finish the story without the word and, if you find it, I’ll plug it in later.

Do you remember when Sylvester the cat would come along and try to eat Tweety bird but Ole Miss would smack him in the head with a frying pan?

Yeah well, one of my character’s is about to get struck like that.
Ya know, conked rigid, frozen in space, and then fall over stiff as a board. Tongue hanging out, arms and legs sticking straight-up, whole deal.
Cartoon dead, ya know? Knocked-out cold.

That’s the word I’m searching for. I think maybe there was an actor it was named after?

If you find the word I’m looking for I will give you a free membership to my paid magazine, because the medical staff I’m surrounded with are all as lost as I among our unique terminology.
What I need is a cartoon guru.

So, help! Leave your answer in the comments.

Anyhow, while trying to find the word for this I was Googling synonyms for things like out-cold, or stiff, and knocked-out, then eventually… dummy.

I figured that was what the cartoon was really depicting. Someone having the sense knocked out of them.

I was surprised when Wordhippo returned some 538 words that meant dummy, dolt, idiot, imbecile, and moron, in the English language.
I started laughing at about word one-twenty.
Not so much because the words became funnier (I’m sure their algorithm doesn’t prioritize hilarity) but because they were so damn abundant!

Honestly, I was happily recounting all the terms that I’d once been called myself, whether by my parents, my significant other, or my own sub-conscious.

Just try it yourself it’s a real picker-upper.
Weird right?

Kinda proof that it is healthy to laugh at ourselves, I guess.
That, or maybe I’m just as crazy as The Joker.

But, wait! Let’s not stop there.
Next, I punched in the word Genius, purely out of curiosity and found no big surprise.

An astonishing 202 words are alternative for genius.
Yes I counted them all, because I’m weird.
But that really pales in comparison with Dummy’s 538!

Immediately, and in a testament to my underlying bi-polar disorder, I decided that this all means that people have been being called idiots way more often than geniuses and in a larger variety of ways.
And why not?

The world is a degrading place.

If you’re not one you’re the other right? Especially in gossip.

Unless of course someone wants something from you.

Then you’re just normal… until you’re all used up anyway…

Wow. Sometimes I really do impress myself!

Shut up, Dodo!
You’re no Avant-garde!

In the spirit of humanity, I am going to suggest that we try and get a bit more creative when it comes to people’s bright sides.

I mean, where do all of these synonyms and metaphors come from but sarcasm?

Is there a way to reverse something as powerful as sarcasm?

We all know how to say, “You’re a real genius,” in a way that really means, “You’re an imbecile.”

But c’mon, I would really like to tell someone,

“You know, you’re a real bitch…”

 and them take it as reverse sarcasm. Then maybe they’d come give me a big hug and a sloppy kiss for it.

How can I do that?

I’d have to be a real artist!

or maybe they’d just have to be looking at me while I said it so that my face would portray the truth?

Either way it’s much safer not to risk it.

If you’re a real artist, connect with me over here.

If you like stories that slap you right in the face, leave me your email here.

Wanna tip me and move on? Blow my skirt up here!

Wanna collaborate? Connect with me over a cup of coffee…
but not here.
That would just be weird.

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Jay Horne is an author and publisher out of Bradenton, Florida. He is a husband and father of four.
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